Author Archive > Emma

Jon Stewart – a one-man fifth estate

WE live in strange and hallucinogenic times. Last week, one of the sleazy cowboys of the American money markets was finally brought to book for his part in spreading the corporate equivalent of the clap through the international economy.
The face of debauched US capitalism was not some Machiavellian Ponzi schemer but Jim Cramer, a squealing [...]

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Taking alcohol

PERHAPS you’ve seen those alcohol education ads on telly that show consecutive generations of dads usingtheir young sons as beer monkeys at boozy barbecues.
They point out that parents who get on the piss tend to leave big, stubbie-shaped indents on the super-absorbent psyches of their sprogs (as well as highlighting that those 1970s porn-star moustaches [...]

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The etiquette of “after you” planet-saving

GREETINGS fellow climate change deniers/sceptics/believers-but-smelters-of-far-too-much-aluminium-to-admit-it. As you know, one of the best things about our position is the ease with which we can clear-fell our opponents.
When faced with shiny, happy hustles such as last weekend’s Hour of No Power, for example, it’s all too cinchy to accuse participants of self-righteous tokenism.
“Instead of sitting in the [...]

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The pleasures of the electrophilic Alain de Botton

THE critics have not always been kind to British pop philosopher Alain de Botton. In one review, Guardian columnist Charlie Brooker performed the literary equivalent of a high school head flushing, calling de Botton a slapheaded ponce and an “absolute pair-of-aching-balls of a man” whose books were the toast of aspirational tosspots.
Brooker followed this with a [...]

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So what if happiness is a warm McMansion?

KARL Marx bombed as a soothsayer. The workers’ revolution, the dictatorship of the proletariat, the grand victory of whatsit over the other thing … at the time of going to press, none looked imminent. In fact, instead of producing its own gravediggers, the bourgeoisie has just produced more and more of itself. 
The extent to which [...]

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The Oasis an oasis from simplistic junkie stereotypes

IN government television campaigns, just saying no to drugs is a simple business, an easy decision made by well-fed, well-clothed young people who just want to have a good time.
“Hmmm. Friday night again. It’s tempting to try ice, but picking imaginary scabs in nightclub toilets doesn’t really go with my new flamingo zippered leggings (heroin [...]

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Apply anti-skeptic and save the ice caps

CLIMATE change sceptics are getting really bloody annoying. It’s not because they have the audacity to question over-the-top environmental doomsday scenarios in which the earth is engulfed by a tsunami of bovine flatulence and only bunker-dwelling survivalists, cockroaches and maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger survive.
Questioning is good. Questioning is Socratic. Everyone should question everything all the time, [...]

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Too posh to push?

THE world is full of wacky urban myths. Richard Gere rushing to hospital for a gerbilectomy. The average human swallowing eight spiders a year. A reflective George W. Bush smiling wryly as he admits: “I think I was unprepared for war. In other words I didn’t campaign and say, ‘Please vote for me, I’ll be [...]

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Who’s a pretty pollie?

CELEBRITIES, for the most part, aren’t allowed to be ugly. Hirsute warts, sniff-round-corner snozzes, complexions that fester and belch: all these imperfections are screened out by the fame machine so our deified red-carpet dwellers remain easy on the eye and pleasing to the lens.
Even beautiful people aren’t permitted to be celebrities unless they strive to [...]

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The dangers of the digilantes

A NEW generation of guerilla fighters is stalking the planet. These brutal underground warriors are vastly outnumbered by their enemies but still they battle on, armed only with their wits, their supportive websites and their ability to make Nigerians they’ve never met photograph themselves with “sheep shagger” signs and toilet seats on their heads.
They are [...]

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