Tag Archive > babies

Too posh to push?

THE world is full of wacky urban myths. Richard Gere rushing to hospital for a gerbilectomy. The average human swallowing eight spiders a year. A reflective George W. Bush smiling wryly as he admits: “I think I was unprepared for war. In other words I didn’t campaign and say, ‘Please vote for me, I’ll be [...]

Continue reading

, ,

Baby on board

FOR a long time I didn’t get the “Baby on Board” car sign thing.
I agreed with comedian George Carlin (who described these as the three most puke-inducing words invented), and preferred parodies such as Pit Bull on Board, Ex-Boyfriend in Boot or Warning: Baby is Closer Than it Appears.
Rumour had it that these annoying yellow [...]

Continue reading

, ,

Pink isn’t for this girl

LAST weekend I tried to buy my daughter a toy tip-truck. In our inner-city see-saw zone, Tonka-type items are crucial for the moving of playground bark from one spot to another, an activity that can absorb the average attention-deficited ankle biter for a truly gratifying number of minutes.
In our inner-city see-saw zone, there’s also a lot [...]

Continue reading

, , ,

Scummy mummies

THE new face of Westfield shopping centres is not a supermodel. She has the turning circle of a Kombi, leaking nipples and a T-shirt smeared with white gunk that may have once lived inside a human being.
She is Melbourne comedian Nelly Thomas and she is tearing herself away from organising her daughter’s first birthday party [...]

Continue reading

, ,

Wild knitting

LIKE many Australian women, what I really wanted for Mother’s Day was a plate of paid maternity leave with a side of quality, tax-deductible child care.
Sadly, the Australian Prime Minister and his flunkies are like a gaggle of well-meaning youngsters who promise mum breakfast in bed, then struggle with the harsh realities of the modern [...]

Continue reading

, , , ,